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Nanny Guide > Addressing Problems in the Employment Relationship
An
experienced, well trained nanny deserves your trust,
respect and confidence in her abilities at all times.
However, if either your nanny or your children let you
know that there are difficulties, it is important that
you try to resolve the problem.
If
you sense that your children's safety is at risk, make
alternative childcare arrangements immediately - do
not leave your nanny in sole charge of your child while
you explore the nature of the problem. This will create
problems for you and may be hurtful to the nanny, but
the children's safety must be the top priority.
In
all other cases, where your child is definitely not
at risk, you should try to help your nanny to address
the problem. Good communication skills are important
here. Generally, in dealing with any difficulties you
should:
- ask
for more information.
- listen
and uncover the nature and extent of the problem.
- try
to find out if external factors are the cause of,
or are aggravating, the problem (e.g. your nanny's
mother is ill, your child is worried about starting
preschool).
- decide
what help you can offer. You cannot solve everything;
sometimes an encouraging word and a willingness to
listen is all you can do to help nanny deal with the
'terrible twos'.
- check
back to see if this resolves the problem.
Sometimes
problems will affect the children's well-being. Problems
with school work, friendships, and dealing with divorce
are not uncommon. When working with the nanny, ask yourself:
- Can
the problem be dealt with by the nanny alone?
- Can
we overcome the problem together?
- Can
the nanny help the family/children cope with the problem?
Finally,
if all attempts to resolve the problem have failed,
you are faced with a difficult decision. You can either
'live with' the problem (her housekeeping standards
are not the same as yours) or you will need to replace
the nanny. If the situation cannot be resolved, negotiate
an end to the work agreement that is minimally disruptive
for all parties involved. Communication and good will
are vital at this stage. An acknowledgment that everyone
has tried their best but the problem persists is recommended;
placing blame, by either party, is non-productive and
can result in an ugly exchange between nanny and parents,
placing your children in the middle.
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