My child won't poop in the potty! - Pregnancy / Mom / Baby / Child - From birth to teens, parenting universe has advice, tips, and resources for parents.

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Q: My 3 year old boy seems to not want to use the potty for number 2. He goes with number1 great, Even at night. He has been for about a year. Everything I have tried wont work. Help!

A: If your child has no medical problems and is just afraid to go on the toilet then use this timing method with mineral oil (so he will not withhold). Consult you physician BEFORE administering mineral oil. I think we need to retrain your son and his thinking and you will need to be consistent with this program.

My three year old would still be asking for his diaper to poop if I did not do this method. Please understand, that this method is for older children like yours that understand what is going on, but are just afraid to go poop on the toilet. They feel comfortable going where they have always gone, and do not want to change for fear of what will happen to them when they go on the toilet or where it goes.

Step 1
Only give the pull-up if he/she promises to go in the bathroom. Do this for a week or so till he/she knows the rules.

Step 2
Then have him/her try sitting down with his/her pull-up on (in the bathroom). Whether it is on the floor, potty or toilet, he/she needs to practice sitting and going. Do this for another week.

If this does not work (sitting down) then skip this part and try the timer method. (This part did not work with my son, but maybe it will work with yours).

Timer method
Start this method when you can devote a few days in a row. First thing in the morning take off diaper, pull-up or underwear. Keep it off for a few hours while training. Keep your eye on your child at all times to make sure he does not sneak off and poop somewhere private. You are waiting for this opportunity to guide him to the toilet.

Put the timer on every thirty minutes for five minutes. Have him sit on the potty without a pull-up. Yes, he will resist a tad, but tell him it is only for five minutes and if he sits for five minutes then he will get a small reward (sticker, treat, or whatever he likes). Be creative here, if you are having a problem with fear of pooping on the potty, you want to make it as pleasurable as possible for your child so he will not be afraid to sit bare-bottomed. If he likes matchbox cars, then go buy a bunch for each five minute sitting! It will work if he is satisfied with this potty reward!!

I was lucky, my child liked mail and envelopes, so I used these as his reward for five minute sittings! I also gave him a sticker on his potty chart and told him when he got to the end of his chart, I would take him to the toy store for his Big reward. Reward him for sitting even if he doesn't produce anything. He will on the next the try. Tell him it's o.k. and that you are proud of him for sitting and trying (builds self-esteem).

Reward him for every 5 minute sitting and tell him what a big boy he is for sitting on the potty. Tell him he is learning and you are going to help him so when he goes to school, he can go to the bathroom like the other children. Tell him there are NO MORE DIAPERS. Do not buy anymore. Remember, consistency IS THE KEY.

You may want to prepare him by making a big deal about using the last diaper, buying him his favorite toy for when he successfully goes in the toilet.

Make sure his diet has lots of fresh fruit and veggies and fruit juice. Give him mineral oil in his juice daily, so he will not withhold. Start one day before training.

The starting dose for mineral oil is about one teaspoon for every 10 pounds of body weight (or 1ml for every kilogram of body weight). This may be given either as one serving daily, usually in the evening, or divided into a morning and an evening dose.

I only had to give my child (34 lbs.) (1) tsp. in his juice two days in a row before he went while sitting on the potty. The reason to give mineral oil, is so they cannot hold it for when they are practicing. Children are smart and will try to go anywhere but the toilet, that's why you need to watch them closely, be patient, kind and understanding. Explain to them that you want to help them learn so they can do it all by themselves like ("mommy, daddy, sister or brother, or whatever friend or relative the child wants to be like").

If the child does not begin having soft stools daily, increase the dose by one teaspoon (5ml) daily until you reach a dose that works. (Don't go above 3 times the starting dose without checking with a physician.) It's not unusual for a 4-year-old to need 9 teaspoons a day or more. You may need to adjust the dose downward if the stools get too loose or too frequent. Once you've arrived at a dose that works, keep him on this dose for about 2 weeks. This will give time to break the connection in the child's brain between poop and pain. Children relearn that stools don't hurt. Also, the rectum shrinks back to normal size, fissures heal, and (perhaps most importantly) the urge to poop is once again felt.

After two weeks, gradually taper the mineral oil dose over another two weeks or so. This process will often break the cycle (fear of painful poop on the potty) completely. Before embarking on a mineral oil regimen, speak with your child's pediatrician to be sure that it is appropriate for your child, and to discuss whether a single glycerin suppository might be useful at the outset to get that first stool moving -- if it's been awhile. I also recommend taking a multivitamin during mineral oil therapy (at some other time of day than the oil), since the oil can interfere with vitamin absorption.

Use this method consistently. When the timer goes off, make a game out of it. It's time to practice!

It only took me two days with my son and he was a withholder due to a painful BM while he was trying the potty. It is imperative that your child's stool is soft while training to prevent withholding. It only takes one painful BM to delay training for months, and even years. Be kind to your child. Do not show any anger or negative emotion. Kids will use this against you, especially if they know it upsets you. Be matter of fact in your attitude and remember, it doesn't bother you.

Your child will soon be glad that he conquered the potty with your help!

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The use of this website or any advice provided by The Potty Store, Inc., is meant to provide support and guidance. Please use this website and information as a general guide only. The Potty Store, Inc., believes it to be accurate and reliable. In some instances, the information provided by e-mail may represent an opinion or judgment. As always, consult with your pediatrician if you are having any problems with your child.